- If you thought the life of a Christian Rockstar was different from a regular Rockstar, you were mistaken.
- You don't even want to know what Christain Rock groupies are capable of.
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- Display your true feelings about Icelands hottest pop singer by wearing this stylish black t-shirt.
- Wearing this shirt gives you Bjork's unrivaled ability to randomly assault paparazzi in airports.
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- Look slim and trim in this sleek, eating disorder themed t-shirt.
- Does food taste as good coming up as it does going down? Ponder that while you are waiting for delivery of this shirt.
- Remember, bulimia is real. It is serious. And this shirt makes fun of it.
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- This is the official shirt from Apollo's funeral. Wearing it gives you the right to assault Dolph Lundgren.*
- Rocky fights great, but Apollo is a great fighter. Similarly, you wear t-shirts great, and this is a great t-shirt.
- *Note: this shirt does not give you the right to assault Dolph Lundgren. He probably still takes steroids and can easily crush you.
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- Don't try to challenge this shirt to a staring contest. It will win. It always does.
- There is only one word that can accurately describe the greatness of the late Robert Goulet...
- GOO-LAY!
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- I don't know if you know this about Tyrone Biggums, but he smokes rocks.
- $450,000 doesn't stretch as far as it used to, so Tyrone insists that this party is BYOC.
- $20 cover charge is waived for anyone wearing this shirt.
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- Who knew that plucking fish out of a pond and serving tea while blindfolded were such great training for hand to hand combat?
- Half Empty Clothing is not liable if Chong Li sees you wearing this shirt and breaks your leg.
- Monkey-style fighter t-shirt is not currently planned for production.
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- Tito Liebowitz, the small time gun runner and rottweiler fight promoter, had 17,000 of these shirts printed up to promote the Killer vs Nibbles fight.
- Killer killed Nibbles, but that won't stop you from getting a killer deal on this shirt.
- Give this shirt as a gift to the guy on your couch who nobody knows.
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- It's the deadliest catch, without the crabs. It's the Half Empty Clothing Boats & Hoes T-shirt.
- You can't get night vision goggles and movie quality Chewbacca masks, so why not get this shirt instead?
- Wearing this shirt at the Catalina Wine Mixer will get you 25% off of your first month lease payment on a new chopper.
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- Robots are everywhere, and they eat old peoples' medicine for food. When they grab you with those claws you can't break free, because they are made of metal, and robots are strong.
- This shirt is a free gift for purchasing a robot insurance plan. Plans start at $17.99, and nobody is too old to qualify.
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- The Dude is one of the laziest people in Los Angeles, which puts him high in the running for laziest worldwide. This shirt captures his lazy essence brilliantly.
- This shirt is ideal for bowling, driving around, drinking white russians, and occasional acid flashbacks.
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- Voted "Best shirt for enforcing rules during a league game" by "Over The Line" magazine.
- Some great men died face down in the muck so you and I can enjoy shirts like this.
- Not to be worn on Shabbos.
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- The ideal shirt for consuming toasted white bread and/or four fried chickens and a coke.
- Getting bands back together and carrying out missions from god in such style was not possible before this shirt was available.
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- The 1979 Iowa State amateur bowling champion deserves our respect. His name is Roy, not boy.
- Don't get Munsoned out in the middle of nowhere without this shirt. Instead get on the gravy train with biscuit wheels that is the Roy Munson Kingpin T-Shirt from Half Empty Clothing.
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- This shirt is probably the closest that most people will come to being interrupted by The Interrupter or personally insulted by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
- Have your own Late Night small talk moment with friends every time you wear this shirt. Awkward Max/Conan-like ending to the conversation not guaranteed.
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- No, the color of the shirt isn't "bone", but the subtle off-grey coloring and the tasteful thickness of the shirt rival even Paul Allen's business card.
- This shirt guarantees you will be able to get a reservation at Dorsia. And as everyone knows, Dorsia has great sea urchin seviche.
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- Lynn Belvedere had us all fooled in the 1980's. We thought he was just a simple Butler handing out life lessons when he was actually perfecting his family's age old Vodka recipe.
- This Mr. Belvedere Vodka shirt contains 0% alcohol by volume.
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- Let your shirt say what your $300 bar tab is only hinting at: You're interested in the Cougars.
- Lame pick up lines are not required when you wear this shirt. The shirt will pick up the cougars for you.
- Not intended to be worn by poachers who actually shoot and kill real cougars.
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- You've found it. I don't know how but you've found it. Run for it Marty! The t-shirt.
- The ideal shirt for jumping in a Delorean and finding out whether or not the Libyans can do 90.
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- This shirt suggests a solution to our two greatest problems: whales and nuclear weapons. Nuking the whales will eliminate whales and nukes. Two birds, one stone.
- It is not recommended that you wear this shirt around members of Greenpeace.
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- Mositure is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty. That quote from Zoolander is the essence of this shirt, so this shirt is the essence of fashion.
- This shirt is not part of Mugatu's Derelicte campaign.
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- Jesus in goal makes "The Beezer" look like a revolving door.
- If you thought turning water into wine was a miracle, you should see Jesus make a kick save.
- The premise of this shirt may represent a slightly different interpretation of the Bible than you heard in Sunday School.
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- If you wear this shirt, people will assume you are some sort of Duke or Earl or something important sounding.
- Wearing this shirt gives you the right to speak with an uppity British accent and refer to people as your "loyal subjects".
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- Wearing this shirt whisks you way to a far off time in which scientists believe computers will be nearly twice as powerful as they are now, and will be small enough to fit inside a single airplane hangar.
- The previous comment about this shirt was written in 1963. The future those scientists forsaw is now.
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- This is the shirt that those of you who cheered for Ivan Drago in Rocky IV have been waiting for.
- Please disregard the irony of communist symolism being displayed on a t-shirt being sold in a free market economy.
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- Graffiti is the artform of the streets. Fractions are the most hardcore subject in elemenary school math. Put them together, and you get this shirt.
- Maintain your rep in this sleek, yet gangsta t-shirt.
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